Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story...
Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and...
Turtle Jokes
Did you hear about the turtle that became a chef and opened his own restaurant?
His specialty is slow cooked meals.
A turtle is walking across the yard . . .
Three snails come up and mug him. Later the cop...
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree...
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumpe...
What did the snail say when it rode a turtle?
"WEEEEEEEEEEEE"
At the watering hole, an elephant suddenly picked up a tortoise and flung it as far away as he could.
A lion asked, "Why'd you do that?" The elephant...
What do you call the composer's tortoise?
Bach's turtle
This guy worked at an aquarium
So this guy got a job as an assistant at an aqu...
A meeting was being held in the bamboo forest one sunny day in China...
A goat was on his way to the meeting when a rot...
A turtle is crossing the road
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged ...
There was a terrible road accident
A truck full of tortoises was struck by another...
How do you split a turtle in two?
(tur // tle)
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left him.
How did the turtle cross the freeway?
Hint: take the 'f' out of "free" and the 'f' ou...
I recently saw some posters about a missing turtle, but I wouldn't worry too much.
It's not like it could have gone very far.
The snail and the turtle
What did the snail say when he climbed upon the...
Turtle...
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to ...
A man is invited to a fancy dress party.
A man is invited to a fancy dress party.
Howe...
A little boy is fishing over a bridge when a man walks by...
The boy asks, "Hey, mister! Want to help me cat...
Bleeding turtle
A father and his son go to a pet store to buy a...
Found a dead box turtle on the trail. You know how I knew it was dead?
It had rigor-tortoise
A drunk man walks into a shooting gallery at the funfair...
And he gives it a go. He shoots all targets in ...