What do you call a timid person that uses Snapchat?
A snapping turtle!
Turtle Jokes
A snail gets mugged
A snail is heading home from work, very late on...
A rabbit with a wooden eye and a turtle with a wooden leg
are at a dance. The rabbit goes up to the turtl...
I came across a turtle in the forest...
The turtle was making its way slowly down a for...
A man is sitting at a bar when he notices a turtle near the register. It is covered with bandages ....
and not moving. "So uh, what's the deal with th...
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
How did the turtle with no arms and no legs cross the freeway?
Here's a hint: take the F out of Free and take ...
How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?...
You take the letter F out of way.
My favorite clean joke
A young turtle is seen in the forest climbing u...
The elephant and the turtle
An elephant and a crocodile were swimming in th...
Apparently there's this amazing new alternative to euthanizing terminally ill pets...
...called "Canine Testudine Cerebro Xenograft."...
A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.)
If the three legged turtle crosses the road wha...
Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had for...
What did the Alligator say to the turtle?
Can I bayou a drink?
What is it called when a turtle is mentally retarded?
What is it called when a turtle is mentally ret...
I saw a turtle during a thunderstorm
You could say he was shellshocked
Three turtles were going to the airport...
after 10 years they arrived at the airport but ...
The difference between a turtle and a politician...
... You feel bad after running over a turtle.
How does a turtle grate cheese?
Shredder
A rabbit, a buzzard and a turtle.
This was told to me by my grandfather years ago...
This is the real no arms no legs on the beach joke, not that lame one. - So there was this guy with no arms and no legs...
... and his friends are all like, "we have to m...
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Kid sounds like the turtle from Finding Nemo
Kid sounds like the turtle from Finding Nemo ht...
A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins.
What a turtle disaster.