A man is sitting at a bar when he notices a turtle near the register. It is covered with bandages ....

and not moving. "So uh, what's the deal with the dead turtle?" he asks.
The barkeep perks up, "Dead? you say? I'll have you know that this is the fastest turtle on Earth!" "In fact, I have fifty dollars that say **this** turtle can beat **you** to the other side of the room!"

The man looks at the motionless turtle and says, "Alright - Your on!"

"on the count of three" says the bartender.
"one"
"two"
"three!" and he picks up the turtle and throws it across the room.