I caught a fish and let slip I was going to eat him
He was gutted
Fish Jokes
Two illiterate Italian fishermen
are out one day. After fishing for awhile Marco...
What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna.
...
Courtesy of my ECON professor
Two men decide to go fishing on a Saturday. Th...
Why are all the fish high?
Because of the seaweed.
I've already shown m...
Why can't the insecure fish sing well?
He's never comfortable in his own scales.
A Blind Fish
What does the blind fish say when it hits a wal...
What do you call a fish that stands out?
Out of plaice.
A grease fire on a boat...
Some kids went out on a boat to have a fish fry...
fishing without a permit.
a young man is found fishing near a pond by a p...
What's the downside to dating a Mermaid?
Her clam smells like fish!
Alan Finkelkraut goes to Israel to die...
Alan Finkelkraut, an upstanding member of the T...
Two Goldfish (x-post /r/askreddit)
Two gold fish are in a tank. One looks at the o...
Why do fishermen fish in north America?
'Cause they're all about that bass
The Horse and the stream joke.
I found this joke in an old jokebook.
A man is...
Why do fish always sing off key?
You can't tuna fish.
Two fish are in a tank.
One asks the other, "Do you know how to drive t...
I heard there was a fight at the fish and chip shop.
Two cods got battered.
The Englishmen & the salmon.
Two English guys (John & Dave) were visiting Ir...
Why was the fish swimming backwards?
It didn't want to get water in its eyes.
The other day I sold someone a stale fish, next day he came to my store and said "you selfish" and left...
now I am not sure if I should have replied "yes...
Why are fire engines red?
2+2=4. 4x3=12. 12 inches make a ruler. A famous...
How do you weight a fish?
With a scale.