What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

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EDIT: A collection of other [spoonerisms](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism) for your reading pleasure. And stop giving me sh... about not fu... cussing, you godd... motherfu... hookers.

/u/whitefoot /u/thumpas /u/owlve - What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom? A pick pocket snatches watches.

/u/YouKnowWhatYouWant /u/The1WhoKnocks-WW /u/fixitinpost - What's the difference between a tribe of Pygmy warriors and a girls' track team? One's a bunch of cunning runts.

/u/circuituously /u/Bduell1 - What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bath? One's got hope in her soul, the other....

/u/PussyOnRye /u/BluRayVonBismark /u/CptEchoOscar /u/goatkindaguy - What's the difference between a circus and a sorority? One's a cunning array of stunts.....

/u/brucethehoon /u/Harrytrumandorisday /u/dghughes /u/TheGiggleWizard /u/FlyingPhotog /u/deepsoulfunk - What's the difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and an oyster with epilepsy? One, you shuck between fits, and the other you fuck between shits.

/u/fixitinpost - What's the difference between a lawyer and a defiant rooster? One clucks defiance...

/u/fixitinpost - What's the difference between a kitten having an orgasm and a shish kabob? The shish kabob skews between meats...

/u/sonofstone - What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of the clause.

/u/bilbo_dragons - What's the difference between a video game console and a glue factory? One's a Sony Playstation and the other's a pony slaystation.

/u/Doses-Mimosas /u/Julfr /u/Jtdollars - What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

/u/Bduell1 - What's the difference between a baby and a choir director? One of them sucks his fingers, and the other one fucks his singers.

/u/dusmeyedin - What's the difference between a magician's wand and a policeman's truncheon? A magician's wand is cunning stunts, and a policeman's truncheon is for... apprehending criminals.

/u/Deltethnia - What's the difference between a cyclist and a psychiatrist? On rides on something held together by nuts, the other holds nuts together and takes them for a ride!

/u/jellycube - What's the difference between a good vacuum and the Swiss navy? One sucks and sucks and never fails...

/u/Hingle_McCringleberry - What's the difference between a Metallica concert and a Mike Tyson fight? One leaves a ring in the ears, the other leaves an ear in the ring

/u/moak0 (crediting [Redd Foxx](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z19kt3_Wc54) ) - What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat? A goldfish likes to muck around the fountain.

/u/jorge123 - What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold. One's a sick duck... I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore!

/u/AAT_AAT - What's the difference between a seagull and a baby with diarrhoea? One flits across the shore the other shits across the floor...

*Honorable Mentions:*

/u/jamspangle /u/JacksCologne - There are two types of people in the world; those that can extrapolate from incomplete data.

/u/grandboyman - There are 10 types of people in this world.Those that understand binary and those that don't.

/u/jorge1213 - What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller? One is a crustacean, the other is a crushed Asian.