A man about to go on an extended business trip decided to buy his wife a couple of toys as a surprise. He came home the night before his flight out with a sex toy called Voo-Doo Dick.
"Voo-Doo Dick?" his wife asked. "What is that?"
"You'll see," he smirked. "Just have fun. It's special."
The next night, she decides to try it out. The directions read, "Voo-Doo Dick responds to your every wish! Just say the name twice and then say where you want it to please you. To make it stop, say 'Cid Ood-Oov return,' and Voo-Doo Dick returns to its bed to sleep again."
She took off her clothes. To test it out, she said, "Voo-Doo Dick, Voo-Dick. My neck." Voo-Doo Dick began to vibrate and floated to her neck and gave her the best neck message she ever had.
She said, "Cid Ood-Oov return," and Voo-Doo Dick floated back to its box quietly.
She said, "Voo-Doo Dick, Voo-Doo Dick, my breasts." Voo-Doo Dick once again floated to her and stimulated her nipples until she was turned on more than she had ever been.
After several minutes of that, she said, "Voo-Doo Dick, Voo-Doo Dick... my pussy." Voo-Doo Dick moved down from her breasts and began to fuck her better than she had ever been before. She had orgasm after orgasm until she'd had enough.
But she couldn't remember the safe phrase to call off Voo-Doo Dick. She tried looking for the instructions, but she couldn't find the paper and the constant vibrating and intense orgasms still hitting her wouldn't let her think.
Finally, she decided she had to get medical help. Voo-Doo Dick was still going at it. She clumsily put on a robe, got into her car, and headed toward the hospital to try to get it removed.
She weaved back and forth all over the highway as more orgasms overwhelmed her as she drove. A few miles from the hospital, a highway patrol car pulled her over.
"What in the world is going on with you, lady?" yelled the patrolman when he got to her window. "You must be drunk, weaving all over the road. All you look damn near naked."
She explained what happened and that she was going to the hospital for help.
"I've heard some whoppers in my day, lady, but that's the worst lie I've heard yet."
"But it's true! The Voo-Doo Dick won't stop!"
"Voo-Doo Dick? Voo-Doo Dick my ass!"
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