15> Every time a Paul McCartney song comes on, he piddles on the radio.
14> Not only has Rover gotten pretty heavy, he now lives in a van down by the river.
13> You've never seen a hamster so enraptured by the music of Led Zeppelin. At least not a heavy-drinking, kick-ass drumming sort of hamster.
12> There appears to be a toga party going on inside the Habitrail.
11> Before going to sleep, he turns to his left 500 times or until he runs into a wall.
10> Your Jack Russell pretends to be gay so he can live with you and your female roommate.
9> Your two baby chimps, Ookie and Kookie, are fascinated by news reports about Saddam Hussein's capture.
8> Not only is he the tallest poodle anyone has ever seen, he claims to have had sex with 20,000 bitches.
7> Whenever your cat leaves something in the little box, she turns and says to it, "You old poop!"
6> Your hound dog howls inconsolably whenever the TV shows old pictures of Jacko and Lisa Marie.
5> Your cat, Jimi, not only catches mice, he then sets them on fire.
4> Points his paw at specific spots on the living room wall then swats his catnip mouse directly there.
3> Every time you throw a stick, your dog claps his paws and Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme run and fetch it for him.
2> Ignoring her untouched food dish, your greyhound just keeps howling the melody to "Rainy Days and Mondays."
1> She keeps barking something about Timmy and the well -- from her aquarium.
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[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
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