A man got fired from his job.

When he sat at the bar he began to cry with his hands over his face. The bartender walks over and tells him to calm down.

The crying man catches his breath enough to explain he just lost his job and can't face his wife or son now. "We're going to lose the house, his birthday presents and I can't go home to face them."

The bartender leans over and explains he knows how that is. "I was there once. I lost my job and dumb luck would have it that I bought my first lottery ticket and hit the jackpot." The crying man starts to laugh under his tears at the bartender's accidental fortune.

"Listen, I bought this bar with that money and also helped a lot of my family with this." The bartender goes onto explain, "I want to help. I have some work you can do around here."

The sobbing man listens.

"See that guy in the back with the broken bottles all around him? He's been causing a bunch trouble and throwing bottles at the dart board." The bartender stresses, "No one can play darts because this guy is blacked out, but no one wants to mess with him. I just need some one to get in his face to kick him out." The bartender is dead serious when he says, "I'll give you three grand if you do it."

The sobbing man turns over his shoulder to look and says, "No. That guy is going to kick my ass. He's three times anyone's size here and I'm not going to have my family visit me in the hospital on top of losing my job."

The bartender understands and says he has a second job. "My dog is in the basement here. The poor girl has a soar tooth and I can not get near her without her snapping at me." He leans in again and says, "I mean she is a pitbull I picked up from a guy who use to fight her, so that's why I am going to pay $5,000 if you can get that tooth out."

"No. again, this is a bad idea." As the man rolls his teary eyes. "I need the money but I can't do that. That is just another bad idea, like the first one."

The bartender understands and shakes his head but still explains there is another job. "It's my sister upstairs. Listen, just have sex with her." Without blinking the bartender says, "She huge. I mean like a metric ton. I have her here because she can't move and I need to look after her, but she won't shut up abut not getting laid. I don't need to listen to her talk about how much she wants sex." The bartender goes on, "Just fuck her so she shuts up and it's ten grand in your pocket."

The man stands up, backs away from his bar stool and starts to walk away knowing this is no way to earn money for his family.

"Wait, wait, wait. Take a seat and have all the drinks you want. They're all on me." The bartender shrugs, "It's the least I can do."

The man sits down and has pitcher then drinks 4 more.

The man stands up and turns to the huge guy at the dart board. "Fuck that huge guy. He needs to go, right?!" As the now drunk man says looking at the bartender.

The once sobbing now drunk man stumbles over and just comes at the huge guy while mumbling drunk nonsense. The huge guy stands up grabbing an empty bottle, but the sobbing drunk man falls over with his fist forward knocking the huge guy in the jaw onto his huge back.

"$3,000!" The sobbing drunk man screams over the cheering patrons. The bartender is ecstatic and before he can grab the money for the sobbing drunk man, the man starts to walk down the stairs yelling, "5 grand!"

The dog starts to growl, then bark and yipe. The man walks up the stairs and says, "Ok! Where is your sister with the soar tooth?!"