A fellow is standing at a urinal, doing his business.

A second person enters the mens room and quickly approaches the urinal next to him, then proceeds to just stand there. The fellow casts a glance sideways to see what is going on.

He sees a young man with no arms standing and looking forlornly at the urinal. His little arm nubs stick out of his short sleeved shirt and bounce a bit as he starts to do the pee pee dance.

He looks at the first fellow and makes eye contact.

“Dude. I’m so sorry to ask. Can you please help me out?”
“Uh…what? Help you out?”
“I REALLY have to go. Pleeease.” the cripple pleads as he looks down. “I don’t want to have an accident.”

The first fellow looks around and sees there is no one else around to help. He looks back to the armless man.

“Ok … uh, what do you need?”
“Can you pleeeease just take my dick out and point it at the urinal?”
“Oh man…”
“PLEASE! I can’t … I can’t hold it much longer and I can’t go out there …” he look back towards the door. “I can’t go out there with piss all over me.” He looks near to tears at this point.

The first fellow looks at the armless man again, noticing the tears welling up in his eyes. “What kind of heartless bastard would I be to let this poor guy suffer? There but for the Grace of God”, he thinks to himself.

“Ok, ok. Let’s just make this quick.”

He unzips the cripple’s fly and pulls his underwear down a bit.
The stench hits his nose first and his head reels back. My god, it’s like buzzard pus that’s been left in the sun to fester.

“Please! Please! I’m so sorry. I’m usually at home in my own restroom and can do this on my own. I just spent too long out today. Please help me!”

The good samaritan decides to just power though the terrible situation and gently reaches in with thumb and forefinger.

What he pulls out is a grotesque monstrosity. The armless man’s penis is covers in weeping sores and boils. It has purple and yellow bruise marks and looks like it’s seen the business end of a meat tenderizer. It drips a yellow custard from the encrusted tip.

“Jesus Christ!” the helper exclaims.
“Hurry! Just point it at the urinal!”

As the gnarled man root is pointed at the urinal, a large stream is unleashed and the armless man lets out a hearty sigh. The piss is mercilessly done quickly and the helping hands are quick to stuff the junk back into the trunk.

“Wait! You need to give it a shake.”
“No WAY!”
“C’mon. I can’t go out there with pee tracks all over me.”

*sigh* The EXCEEDINGLY good Samaritan gives two quick tugs to shake the dew off the lily and then quickly tucks the battered wang back in the grateful man’s pants.

The first fellow runs to the sink and sets the water to near scalding while practically emptying the liquid soap dispenser. As he scrubs his hands raw he looks back over his shoulder at the armless man who is turning to leave.

“Hey man, I don’t mean to pry, but I sort of feel you owe me one. What the HELL happened to your dick?”

The armless man turns and says “Fuck if I know,” as he adjusts his shirt and pops his arms out of his sleeve holes “but I’ll be God damned if I’M gonna’ touch it.” And walks out.