A collection of jokes I created when I was 11. Prepare for the wittiest jokes you will ever hear.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! I've had an accident!
Doctor: The restrooms are down the hall.

What did the old tornado use to walk?
A hurri-cane!

What's the strongest shellfish?
A mussel!

What kind of fish do you find in a mine?
A goldfish!

Why did the puck glue itself to the ice?
It saw the hockey stick!

Where do you find tomatoes?
On toma-feet!

Why did the chicken go to school?
To get an eggucation!

Why was the piece of steel mean?
He was hard-hearted!

What happened to the musicians who tried to shoplift from a convenience store?
They were band for life!

What did the bell say to the loud man?
It tolled him to be quiet!

How did the boat know it had a leak?
It had a sinking feeling...

What gem can you burn yourself on?
A sapph-fire!

What gem is always clean?
A soapal!

What's the coldest part of the North Pole?
The snow!

Which fruit is microscopic?
A banano!

Why did everyone avoid the cow?
He was in a bad moo-d!

What did the steak say to the salami?
Nice to meat you!

Why was the boat's price half off?
Because it was on sail!

Which country is the sickest?
Germ-any!

Who was the cleanest U.S. President?
George Wash-ington!

What do you call someone who prefers white rice to brown rice?
Ricist!

Which bug is worth a penny?
A cent-ipede!

What do you call a sad fruit?
Meloncholy!

Which U.S. president was a chicken?
Theodore Roostervelt!

What do you call forks and knives who serve a rich family?
Butlery!

Why was the bucket worried about her friend?
He looked a little pail!

How did the hay get out work?
He baled!

What do you call a line of canoes?
A row!

What kind of bird builds skyscrapers?
A crane!

What kind of mammal is used in pastries?
A doe!

I'm severely allergic to bees...whenever I go near one, I break out in hives!

What do you call an Islamic insect?
A mosque-ito!

It pains me to admit it, but whenever I speak, my throat hurts!

What kind of crevice can swim?
A fish-sure!

Why didn't the bag tell her friend about her problems?
They were purse-onal!

How did the hammer contact his friend?
With e-nail!

When does a lord wake up?
Earl-y!

What did the orange do when he was told a joke?
He burst into peels of laughter!

How do you steer a weather horse?
With rains!

(That's all I could find. My sense of humour was top notch at 11.

EDIT: I assure you I did make these up, whether you believe it or not. More than one person can make obvious puns!)

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