How can you tell a dog is a cool dog?
It swags its tail.
Dog Jokes
Ever heard of an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?
They lay awake at night wondering if there real...
I cut open a dog and found $50
But not on the same day
I am a dyslexic agnostic insomniac.
I lie awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
Two men are walking their dogs
Two men are walking their dogs, a Poodle and ...
My girlfriend got a dog, “Missy.”
She messes inside a lot though, especially if ...
My neighbor, an elderly prostitute, adopted a puppy
and asked me if I could help train it.
I told ...
I went to the pound the other day...
...I was looking for a new dog. While I was th...
A blind man walks into a bookstore with his seeing eye dog...
He picks the dog by the tail and starts swingin...
Why is dog man's best friend?
They keep the mailman away from his wife
My brother and I took our dog to go play on the frozen lake.
But then the ice broke and my dog fell in. I ju...
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he ain't comin'.
What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...
A dad accidentally runs over his daughter's dog.
The dog dies and the daughter is miserable. Not...
Tennis Elbow
One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbo...
A man walks into a bar and sees a giant jar of $20 notes...
"What's with the jar?" the man asks the bartend...
The Japanese have two words for dog
One is as a pet, the other is as a meal
A French-guy walks into a bar with a dog
and orders 2 martinis from the cute barmaid. Th...
Three Escaped Prisoners
Three men - who were not the brightest of indiv...
What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What has four legs and one arm?
An attack dog in an elementary school.
What is dog x dog?
Puppy dog.
You're approached by a stranger while walking your dog in the park.
The stranger says "That's an unusual looking do...
The cow says "moo", the horse says "neigh"...
The dog says "That person...Edward..."
I spilled spot remover on my dog...
... He's gone now
(credit to Steven Wright)