How do you teach your dog to roll over ?
Put him on fire.
Dog Jokes
So I got a phone call from the post office today...
...complaining that my dog is attacking a postm...
Why did Trump bring his dog to the rally ?
Because he likes it *ruffed up* !
A cowboy was shopping for a wiener dog
some told him to get a long little doggy.
I went to a zoo, but all they had was one sad-looking dog.
It was a shih tzu.
A man walks into a zoo
A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal he ...
Why would someone name a dog "pistachio"?
Because they're nuts
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students...
The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?...
What's the difference between a dog and a cyclist?
When you run over a dog you don't have to go ba...
My dog chases people on a bike a lot.
If this continues i'll have to take his bike away.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was WARRGELBLAFFENGA...
You Can’t Teach an Old Dog to Fly
A woman called our airline customer-service de...
What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
If a dog was president, our country would be extremely peaceful...
Treaties would sound irresistible.
I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov
He said, "I can't say for sure, but the name ri...
No... just don't.
A women went to her uncle's house, which was fu...
What A Day...
I phoned my girlfriend and said, “What a day! I...
How do you make an ugly kid?
Go ask your mother
Courtesy of a hot dog vendo...
I think my dog is an alcoholic.
He can't hold his licker.
A woman pregnant with triplets is shot three times...
by a mugger in the stomach while she's walking ...
What's the animal that has got 3 legs and resembles a dog?
A-three legged dog.
I love my girlfriend's dog, “Missy.”
She messes inside a lot though, especially if ...
Old Man and His Dog
There was a policeman who was on patrol, when h...
Have you heard that some bad dogs are running around burning down dog-houses?
It's a rash of arfson.