What has two legs and bleeds a lot?
Half a dog
Dog Jokes
Never got so many ugly looks when I said I sleep in my socks
Socks doesn't mind, he's a good dog.
Three friends meet up at the office, all hungover from the night before.
Bill says "Oh man. I feel so sick guys. I was...
What do you call a depressed dog eating honeydew ?
A meloncollie
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it.
It was a shitzu.
The cat is heat and keeps presenting herself to the dog
I'm just sitting here with my finger hovering a...
What do you call a dog with no legs?...
It doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't g...
Police behavior explained
Welcome rookie! Along with obtaining your equip...
o I came home the other day to find a gorilla up on my roof busting up my house...
So I came home the other day to find a gorilla ...
As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection.
As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a ...
A crazy girlfriend is like a box chocolates,
They will both kill your dog.
I hide photos on my computer of me
I hide photos on my computer of me petting anim...
What's the best drink for a dog?
An old faschund.
Did you know that World War II was classified as a "total war" by historians? [OC]
Meaning that it involved the mass mobilization ...
Why was the dyslexic atheist a cat person?
He doesn't believe in dog.
I can't date fat women anymore...
I just found out I'm lactose intolerant.
Note:...
Guy gets really drunk...
Next day at work, his colleague says, "Wow, loo...
Stains
So i got a new dog, i decided to name him stain...
Hillary clinton was driving past the whitehouse and ran over obamas dog.
She pops out of the car and holding her face sa...
Dog in a Bar
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the O...
A man is talking to his mate about his dog...
Man: My dog loves Snow Patrol songs!
His mate:...
What do you get when you have a great Dane, a Clydesdale, and a Prostitute?
A huge dog and pony show
A Class Field Trip
A long while ago, when I was in 4th grade, our ...
Who would rule in a dog world ?
The pawlice.