A boy asks his mum why he was getting Christmas presents in August
His mum replied "Because it's cheaper than chem...
Christmas Jokes
Christopher Walken should make a Christmas album called "In a Winter Wonderland"
Christopher Walken should make a Christmas albu...
Why do Jews never deck the halls on christmas?
Because of the holly cost.
What's the difference between a Christmas star and a bad pickling job?
One brightly shines...
What weighs 12lbs and won't be getting plucked this Christmas
Scott Weilands guitar
Last Christmas I got a sweater,
For this Christmas I want a moaner or a screamer.
What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?
Christmas music will still be playing next year.
Christmas is pretty absurd...
...at least according to Jean-Paul Santra.
What's the worst gift to give to a Jewish person on Christmas?
Literally anything.
Invite a Jew to a Christmas party...
He might whine and refuse.
Invite a muslim to ...
A ridiculously rich man is buying his 6 year old nephew a birthday present
On his birthday, the boy gets a Porsche 911. Fo...
I like my women like I like my Christmas Ham...
...bone in.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet
What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas?
A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)
Obama had to phone Putin to arrange a meeting.
They concluded they would meet over Christmas t...
How do you know the Alphabet is celebrating Christmas?
When there is no "L"
What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves.
Just kidding, he hasn't opened them ...
On the the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me..
Nothing. I don't have a girlfriend.
I suggest we all go to Russia for Christmas..
They'll have fried Turkey
I tried to buy a Christmas tree to put in my shed. I couldn't find one anywhere.
They were all non - shed.
What did Hitler get for Christmas?
An easy-bake oven.
why was the mother buying christmas gifts for her son in august?
because presents are less expensive than chemo..
What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?
Nothing, he didn't make it that far.