The Top 16 Things Overheard on an Anthony Hopkins/Martha Stewart Date

16> "Oh, you meant you'd give me *a* head tonight? That's very different then, isn't it?"


15> "A census taker tried to survey me once. I made a lovely autumn floral swag out of his liver."


14> "Is that a femur in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"


13> "Oh God, Tony, that's a *very* good thing!"


12> "Finger sandwiches, chopped liver, and a real bloody Mary. Now *that's* a good thing."


11> "Now this dessert I call 'Medulla Oblon-Gelato'."


10> "...and this muzzle of yours can double as a strainer for pasta or for intestines."


9> "Gnawing on the phalanges is permissible, but should always be accompanied by fingerbowls."


8> "Martha, so help me, if you use the word 'potpourri' as a verb one more time, I'll kill both of us with this butter knife!"


7> "Go for my sweetbreads if you dare, Liverlips -- I've got a glue gun and I'm not afraid to use it."


6> "No, dear, you eat spleen with *this* fork."


5> "Do that damned 'fth-fth-fth-fth-fth' thing one more time, and I'll gag you with this lovely handcrafted doily!"


4> "Put a doily under that liver, pig."


3> "Has the rack of lamb stopped screaming, Martha?"


2> "The lady will have the linguini with clam sauce, and I'll just eat off her face."


1> "Eat me!!"


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