The Top 16 Scenes Cut from "Titanic"

16. Hilarity ensues when someone replaces the life jackets with whoopee cushions.


15. Right after the ship hits the iceberg, the Captain hits the First Mate over the head with his cap, saying "Gilligan, you idiot!"


14. P-Funk Mothership descends on the quarterdeck and plays "Aqua Boogie" while Sir Nose d'Voidoffunk wails that he can't swim.


13. Twenty passengers cling to Kate Winslet's implants for safety.


12. Crazy French skunk sneaks on board and tries to romance Rose's black cat, who rubbed against a freshly-painted white pole.


11. Sexy young Strom Thurmond is saved when his new friend, Sven, the handsome Swedish steward, heroically gives up his lifeboat seat.


10. Battle over survivors breaks out between the "Carpathia" and the "Kevorkian."


9. Gopher, Isaac, and Doc escaping on a lifeboat with some stolen jewels and divorcees Karen Valentine, Connie Stevens and Charo.


8. At the 2:20 minutes mark, dinner guest #5 throws down his napkin and exclaims, "Will this damned thing ever end?!?"


7. A computer-generated Herve Villachaise screaming, "De berg, Boss, de berg!"


6. Fearing theme song will "go on forever," Celine Dion's grandmother leaps from lifeboat.


5. The evil fianc� reveals that he's Jack's father and suggests they overthrow the Captain and rule the ship together as father and son.


4. Kathie Lee belting out, "If they could see me drown..."


3. Blooper in which Marlon Brando's "iceberg" makeup slips off.


2. Wanting his Scotch "on the rocks," First Mate Skippy Hazelwood deliberately steers the ship into the iceberg.


1. Captain Clinton shows Rose his dinghy.