The Philosophical Defense Mechanism

The leopard crouches to pounce the gazelle.

The gazelle says, “Are you sure you want to eat me?”

Leopard pauses. “Uh, why wouldn’t i?”

"Well, I mean, is this what you want to be doing with your life? Do you see yourself doing this in five years?"

"What do you mean? if I eat you now, you won’t be here in five years." says the leopard.

The gazelle shrugs. “Don’t you have goals? Aspirations? ‘Eating Gazelle’ is setting the bar pretty minimally. Don’t you want cubs?”

"I… gee. Maybe write a screenplay…" The leopard sits down and sighs. "Look, I’m between opportunities right now, I’m in my mom’s den. What can I offer a mate?"

"No, I understand, What went wrong?"

"Well I-"

The gazelle runs away.

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