The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)

Do You Love As Good As You Look


Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?


Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life


Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed


Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye


Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart


Heaven's Just A Sin Away


Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind


Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me


Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure


Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares


How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?


How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?


How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?


I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral


I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?


I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life


I Don't Know What Came Over Me (When I Came All Over You)


I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy


I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling


I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It


I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me


I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.


I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2


I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine


I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal


I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You


I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You


I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well


I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)


I Meant Every Word That He Said


I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better


I Wanna Whip Your Cow


I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town


I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!


I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win


I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win


I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy


I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him


I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite


I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue


I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home


I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon


I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life


I'm Not Married But The Wife Is


I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here


I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised


I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart


I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat


I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time


I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You


I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line


If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will


If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You


If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You


If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now


If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?


If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?


If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low


If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You


If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love


If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long


If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me


If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure


If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)


If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will


If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?


It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad


It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me


It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long


Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me


Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)


May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose


My Every Day Silver Is Plastic


My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus


My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart


My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him


Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You


Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way


Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed


@ardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill


Please Bypass This Heart


She Feels Like A New Man Tonight


She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft


She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger


She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart


She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty


She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without.


Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love


Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You


Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone


The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"


There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal


They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out


Touch Me With More Than Your Hands


Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart


What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)


When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)


When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In


Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?


You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play


You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too


You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd


You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat


You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me


You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life


You're A Cross I Can't Bear


You're Ruining My Bad Reputation


You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly