Sh#!

S*** is a powerful word. just think of all the concepts and ideas you can
communicate with it. s*** may just be the most powerful word in the english
language....


consider this: you can be s*** faced, be s*** out of luck or
have s*** for brains. with a little effort you can get your s*** together, find
a place for your s*** or decide to s*** or get off the pot. you can smoke s***,
buy s***, sell s***, lose s***, find s***, forget s*** and tell others to eat
s*** and die. you can s*** or go blind, have a s*** fit or just s*** your life
away.


people can be s*** headed, s*** brained, s*** blinded and s*** over.
some people know their s*** while others can't tell the difference between s***
and shineola. there are lucky s****, dumb s****, crazy s**** and sweet s****.
there is bull s***, and horse s*** and chicken s***. you can throw s***, sling
s***, and catch s*** or duck when the s*** hits the fan. you can take a s***,
give a s*** or serve s*** on a shingle. you can find yourself in deep s***, or
be happier than a pig in s***.


some days are colder than s***, some days are hotter than s*** and some days
are just plain s*****. some music sounds like s***, things can look like s***
and there are times when you feel like s***. you can have too much s***, not
enough s***, the right s***, the wrong s*** or a lot of weird s***. you can
carry s***, have a mountain of s***, or find yourself up s*** creek without a
paddle.


sometimes you really need this s*** and sometimes you don't want any
s*** at all. sometimes everything you touch turns to s*** and other times you
swim in a lake of s*** and come out smelling like a rose. s***! when you stop to
consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of creation. and remember,
once you know you�re s***, you don't need to know anything else.
getting weighed
joe took his blind date to the carnival. "what would you like to do first,
kim?" asked joe.


i want to get weighed," she said. they ambled over to the weight guesser. he
guessed 120 pounds. she got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.


next, the couple went on the ferris wheel. when the ride was over, joe again
asked kim what she would like to do.


"i want to get weighed," she said.


back to the weight guesser they went. since they had been there before, he
guessed her correct weight, and joe lost his dollar.


the couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "i
want to get weighed," she responded.


by this time, joe figured she was really weird and took her home early,
dropping her off with a handshake.


her roommate, laura, asked her about the blind date, "how'd it go?"


kim responded, "oh, waura, it was wousy."