Real Signs Found In Various Places

Unlike Humorless bureaucracies, real people can have fun with: Real Signs Found In Various Places...Sign in a maternity clothes store: 'We are open on labor day.'Sign on the door of the maternity ward: 'Push Push Push.'Sign in a non-smoking area: 'If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'Sign on a front door: 'Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.' Sign on fence: 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.'Sign on an electrician's truck: 'Let Us Remove Your Shorts.'Sign in a realtor's office: 'Lots for little.'Sign in a shoe store: 'Come in and have a fit.'Sign in an optometrist's office: 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.' Sign on a scientist's door: 'Gone fission.'Sign in a taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.'Sign on used car lot: 'Second hand cars in first crash condition.'Sign over a cannibal's hut: 'I never met a man I didn't like.'Sign in a muffler shop: 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.'Sign at a hotel: 'Help! We need inn-experienced people.'Sign in a science teacher's room: If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.Sign at the dry cleaner's window: 'Drop your pants here.'Sign in an office: 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.'Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'Sign at a computer store: 'Out for a quick byte.'Sign in a bowling alley: 'Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.'Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: 'Get a `long` little doggie!'Sign on a music library's door: 'Bach in a minuet.'Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home, Labor Day Weekend: 'Please Drive Carefully. We Can Wait.