Great Dog Fight

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if
they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog
fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and
which ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing
side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the
world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only
the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave
him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up
with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get
near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the
Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last
ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and slowly
waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of
its cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to
bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed the
Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at the entire Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We
don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working
for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and
the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons
working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."