Buddy Hackett was recently reliving his days as soldier assigned to a motor pool unit. One day he answered the phone.
"Soldier, can you tell me what equipment is available for use immediately?" the voice commanded.
"Well, sir, we have two tanks, a half-dozen half-tracks, two armoured personnel carriers, couple of motorcycles, and Fat-Ass Johnson's command Jeep, sir."
"Soldier? Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No, sir."
"This is Major Johnson, your commander!"
"Uh, sir? Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No, I do not!"
"That's good. Goodbye, Fat-Ass!"
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