A man, an ostrich and a cat walk into a restaurant...

The man and his companions sit down at a table and a waitress walks over to them to take their order.

"I'll have a 16oz Steak with all the trimmings and a bottle of champagne." The man says.

The waitress nods and turns towards the ostrich, who seems confused.

"Oh! Uh, I'll, um... I want, uh, I dunno, uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh, I'll just have what he had."

Writing down the order again she looks to the cat.

"Yeah I'll have the same. But I'm not paying for it! I won't pay a single penny." He said as he turned his nose up at her.

The waitress smiles and walks off to the kitchen. She appears again later with three huge meals and 3 bottles of champagne.

After the man and his companions finish their meals the waitress returns to the table to ask him if there was anything else. The man said no and she went to fetch the bill.

"That'll be £166.95 please."

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out £166.95 exactly in cash and places it in the waitress's hand.

Her eyes widen as she looks down at the pile of cash and change in her hands. She looks up at him in amazement.

"How could you possibly have the exact money ready for me?"

"Oh thats a funny story actually, I found an old lamp the other day. After I rubbed it a Genie promptly popped out and proclaimed he could grant me three wishes." Explained the man.

"And?" Urged the waitress.

"My first wish was to always have the exact money in cash readily in my pocket whenever I needed it." Said the man, triumphantly.

"And the second and third wishes?" Inquired the waitress.

The man pauses briefly and looks to his companions.

"I wished for a dumb bird with long legs and a tight pussy."