An english bloke walks into a British pub with an ostrich and a cat

An english bloke walks into a British pub alongside an ostrich, and a cat. He walks up to the bar, and says to the barkeep, "Barkeep, I'll have a pint!"

The ostrich says, "I'll have a pint!"

The cat says, "I'll have a pint, but I'm not paying!"

The barkeep then says, "Okay, your total will be six pounds forty" so the bloke reaches into his pocket, pulls out exactly six pounds forty, and gives it to the barkeep. They take their drinks, enjoy them, and leave.

The next day, the three of them walk into the pub again, and the same thing happens.

The bloke says, "I'll have a pint!"

The ostrich says, "I'll have a pint!"

The cat says, "I'll have a pint, but I'm not paying!"

The barkeep says, "Okay, your total will, once again, come to six pounds forty". So the bloke reaches into his pocket, pulls out exactly six pounds forty, and gives it to the barkeep. They take their drinks, enjoy them, and leave.

The next day, later at night, the three of them show up at the bar again. The barkeep, expecting them to get three pints again, asks, "The usual, sir?" and the man shakes his head.

"Nah, it's gettin' late. I'll have a double scotch" the man says.

The ostrich says, "I'll have a double scotch".

The cat says, "I'll have a double scotch, but I'm not paying!"

The barkeep says, "Sure. Your total comes to nine pounds sixty", so the bloke reaches into his pocket, pulls out exactly nine pounds sixty, and gives it to the barkeep, who can no longer hold in his curiosity.

"Say, mate", says the barkeep, "I've noticed that whenever you need to pay, you can just reach into your pocket and pull out exact change. How is that?"

The man replies, "Ah, good observation. Well, a few weeks ago, I was rubbing a lamp, and a genie appeared. He said he would grant three of my wishes, so I came up with three wishes. My first wish was that any time I need money, no matter what for, that I can just reach into my pocket and pull out the necessary amount".

"Ah, smart", replies the barkeep, "Most blokes would have just asked for a pile of money, but this time, you've got it infinitely".

"Exactly".

"But, um, I have another question. What's with the, um, what's with the ostrich and the cat. If you look around, you'll see we don't get many of those around here".

"Yep", says the man, "that's probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, getting stuck with them forever".

.....

"My next wish was for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy!"