A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat...

He sits down at a table and a waitress walks over to him to take his order.

"I'll have a 16oz Steak with all the trimmings and a bottle of champagne." he says.

The waitress nods and turns towards the ostrich, who seemed to not be quite sure where they were.

"Oh! Uh, I'll, um... I want, uh, I dunno, uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh, I'll just have what he had."

Writing down the order again she looks to the cat.

"Yeah I'll have the same. But I'm not paying for it! I won't pay a single penny." He said as he turned his nose up at her.

The waitress smiles and walks off to the kitchen. She appears again later with three huge meals and 3 bottles of champagne.

After the man and his companions had finished their meal the waitress returned to the table to ask him if there was anything else. The man said no and she went to fetch the bill.

"That'll be £164.95 please."

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out £164.95 exactly in cash and placed it in the waitress's hand.

She looked up at him in shock and asked him how he could possibly have the exact money ready for her.

"Oh thats a funny story actually, I found an old lamp the other day and a Genie popped out of it and granted me three wishes. My first wish was to always have the exact money in cash readily in my pocket whenever I needed it."

"And the second and third wishes?" Inquired the waitress.

"I wished for a dumb bird with long legs and a tight pussy."

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