I was tanning on the beach with my son.
After a while, he looked at me and said, "You'r...
Lobster Jokes
A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong?
The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedas...
TIL the word "Muppet" is a combination of "marionette" and "puppet".
It's like how the word "mobster" is a combinati...
Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?
A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid?
Gotta lay off the sea-weed.
What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa?
Santa Claws
A guest at a restaurant asks the waiter...
"do you have lobster tails?"
The waiter replies...
A man walks by a bar, the sign says "lobster tail and beer $10"
He goes, what a deal for my 3 favourite things!
A fish asked a lobster why he gets boiled alive
The lobster replied "your face looks boiled"
Th...
What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
You should know, you've only read it twenty times.
I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster.
It didnt go well. She was a little shellfish.
I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster.
Its didnt work out. She was a little shellfish.
Pet Lobsters on a Beach
A man is walking a long a beach with a bucket o...
A couple's young son...
...accidentally sees his father having fun with...
What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?
One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.
Speaking of crabs growing an extra claw. . .
One of my favorite Rodney Dangerfield jokes, "H...
What do you call a self absorbed lobster?
A little shellfish!
I'll^see^myself^out...
Sam the clam and Larry the lobster are best friends under the ocean...
And all they like to do is disco. All day and n...
What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?
I'm not letting you cook dinner again
why did the lobster refuse to help anyone else?
because he's shellfish
April Fools' Day 2015
Samsung has announced this year's must-have kit...
What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?
The octopus, obviously, the three others are cr...
St Patty's Day is Over
No worries! More upcoming reasons to drink and ...
Pet Lobster
Game Warden stops a man with a lobster in a buc...
Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman?
They are both crustaceans.