Two old men sitting on a porch...
There is a dog licking himself in the front yar...
Dog Jokes
How do you get a dog to lick itself clean like a cat?
Cover it in peanut butter.
Why you can never tell a dog a knock knock joke
[Because...](https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.n...
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It was a shih tzu
Last night I dreamed that I was a homeless dog
It was pretty *ruff*.
If your dog has fleas and you hear ticks, what should you do?
Make a vet appointment for both of you.
Two guys are driving...
...when they stop at a red light next to a park...
mom hates dad
My mother used to be a ventriliquist..
For te...
My dog kept me awake all night.
Dreadful diarrhoea.
Don't think I cooked him p...
Went to the zoo and the only animal there was a good looking dog...
It was a pretty shih tzu
Seasonal Jokes
Spring
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, w...
Hiding From Cops
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running ...
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer #itsucks
One day Bill complained to his friend that his ...
Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to crash.
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Cl...
R.I.P Bob
Bob was a bus conductor-cum-driver. He had been...
How do you think dog tastes?
Idk I think it would taste pretty ruff.
Zoo
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the ...
This morning I woke up and could feel tension mounting.
Tension is the name of my dog.
A man goes to the zoo and the only animal in the zoo is a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't call him anything because he won't co...
Hungover regrets
Charlie meets up with Tom for lunch and Charli...
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if th...
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog stand...
And says that he'd like a hot dog. When the ve...
Scientist shocked
Some scientists decided to do the following exp...
Crazy ex's are like a box of chocolates
They'll kill your dog