I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for christmas...
... and she told me she wanted a diamond ring. ...
Christmas Jokes
Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
Christmas Presents
To all those who received a book from me as a C...
What did 50cent say when Eminem made him a sweater for Christmas?
ju ju ju ju ju ju G-Unit?
I was alone, depressed and suicidal around Christmas time and decided to call the suicide prevention hotline
"Sorry but all of our employees are happily spe...
Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?
Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot qui...
Luke got Darth Vader a Christmas Present.
Darth Vader: Luke... I know what you got me for...
Why didn't the child in the secret society get a present for christmas?
He had been illumi-naughty
I've just found a Christmas present for my daughter in the loft.
I'll take it up to her later.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
"Thanks, I'll never part with it."
There are three married men who are friends at a christmas party.
The first man called his wife over and handed h...
What did the the black boy get for Christmas?
Your Bike...
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't un...
Why didn't the Christmas Cake go to the dance?
He had his raisins...
Sick days
For some reason when I get sick it always happe...
What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?
A Total TreeCull.
Basically, on the evenin...
I thought I was getting a car for christmas...
turns out all I got was a toy Yoda
Just moved into a new house two weeks after Christmas
Every house in my neighborhood already has thei...
A couple split up over Christmas cause the man wanted a Playstation...
Instead he got an ex-box
Christmas joke! (A little late I know)
Three men die on Christmas Day. They get to the...
Heard this one over Christmas, I can only apologise.
Back in the pre-glasnost days a Russian couple ...
Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods.
It's so they have something to unwrap.