"This year I had a dog for Christmas"
"That's funny, we had a turkey like every other...
Christmas Jokes
How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents
Explain to them that due to Global Warming that...
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve when they feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it's raining" says the man
"No, It's ...
Christmas always sucked when I was a kid...
I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, s...
Great news insomniacs!
Only 12 sleeps til Christmas.
A kid asks for a dog for Christmas.
His mom says "No, we're eating a turkey like a...
I think that homeless children should get coal for Christmas...
We need to keep them warm enough to shovel our ...
What did Billy, the boy with no arms, get for Christmas?
A baseball mitt.
Actually, he hasn't opened it...
Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?
Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...
What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?
Gloves.
Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!
Do you know why insomniacs are always happy at this time of year?
Because Christmas is only 10 sleeps away.
My daughter asks for Frozen stuff for Christmas,
so i bought her frozen chips and a packet of peas
What did the black kid get for Christmas?
Your bike.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
She got hit by a bus.
Why did Sally fall off t...
I’m not a good cook.
At Christmas my family got together and bought ...
A boy is asking santa for a heavy sweater for christmas present
so santa send him a sumo wrestler
Why is Donald Trump so insistent that we say "Merry Christmas"?
Because he wants to Make America Greet Again.
A woman goes to get a tattoo
The tattoo artist asks her what she wants and s...
Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?
Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us
Get a brother
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says...