You have been warned!!!!

The following are excerpts from various American medical journals.....prepare
yourself, they are pretty amazing (But all are True)


INNER SKELETON
A 63-year-old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil,suffering
abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20-inch long skeleton of
a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the
womb and was never
expelled from her body.


FEMALE SOFA
500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the
examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found
under one of her breasts, and a remote control was found lodged between the
folds of her vulva.


OUCH!
A couple hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in bloodied
restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers
around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out
that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under
the
table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an
epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's member and wrench it
from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed
her in the head until she let go.


SEX EDUCATION
a Californian doctor examining a young woman with abdominal pains asked her if
she was sexually active. She said that she wasn't.
A later examination showed that she was pregnant. Asked why she said that she
was not sexually active, the woman replied "I'm not, I just lie there." When
asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she replied, "No.
Who?


BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while
trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway,
but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but
without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered that the man did
not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the
membrane of his cornea.


GROWING SEASON
An old woman in a North Carolina ER complained of green vines growing from her
vagina. Investigation revealed a large potato trapped in her womb. The woman
then suddenly remembered that she had inserted it two weeks previously, because
she thought that her uterus was falling out.


PRICKLY PAIR
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He
complained that his wife had "a rat in her vagina" and it bit him during sex.
After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle
left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.


LAST STAND
A Cambridge man hobbled into the ER complaining of a permanent erection. He
admitted to doctors that while on holiday in Cuba, he frequented many brothels,
and in one he was given some erectile cream to keep him hard. He was told to use
it sparingly.
However, since he was having so much fun, he kept using more and more. By the
time he came to the ER, all the blood vessel in his penis were swollen and his
testicles had ballooned in size. Doctors could do nothing except prescribe pain
killers, and told
him that it would return to flaccidity in a few days. They also told him to
enjoy his erection while it lasted, because it was going to be his last.


CALL THE BUM SQUAD!
A World War II veteran came into a London clinic with a
hemorrhoid problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the man's anus
and he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an artillery shell. On this
occasion, the shell got stuck.
Doctors were going to remove it but the man told them the shell was still
live. So the hospital called in the army bomb disposal squad, who built a lead
box around the man's anus to defuse the shell so it could be removed.