Ways to Tell if You're Stuck in the 80's

1. your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck in the banister


2. you relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the "Footloose" soundtrack


3. you think the Two Coreys are "totally awesome"


4. you're still bitter that Wham! broke up


5. Punky Brewster is your hero


6. you type all of your term papers on a Commodore 64


7. you still resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in your house like Webster's


8. the only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man


9. you're building your own Clockwork Smurf


10. your summer attire is Jellies and Jams


11. A-Ha's "Take on Me" is still your favorite video


12. you consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms


13. you wonder why more people don't wear high heels, Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks


14. you call all motorcycle cops "Ponch"


15. every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks


16. you're still upset Madonna and Sean broke up


17. you know who Stinky Sullivan is


18. you work out with "Get in Shape Girl"


19. you want to be Molly Ringwald when you grow up


20. you enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing your sunglasses at night


21. you know who Loverboy is


22. you think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion


23. you think of Janet Jackson as "that girl who used to date Willis"


24. you can sing the theme song to Small Wonder


25. every time you see a fountain you want to dance around it and yell "Fame !"


26. you still have a shoe box full of Garbage Pail Kid cards


27. you write your congressman asking him to introduce a bill to make "Born in the USA" the national anthem


28. you still use your Snoopy Sno-Cone machine


29. you know it's not "comma, comma, comma" it's karma


30. you stay up nights wondering what Bastian's mother's name was in "The Neverending Story"


31. you have nightmares about the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak


32. you still practice your Care Bear Stare


33. you know that girls just wanna have fuh-un


34. you can name all The Wuzzles


35. you harbor a secret dream of being slimed by Alistair


36. you can do the Safety Dance


37. in your spare time you are writing "The Breakfast Club 2"


38. you like to "connect the dots, la la la la!"


39. someone mentions Jennifer Beals and you don't say "Who?"


40. your prized possession is a collection of "Return of the Jedi" Shrinky Dinks


41. you know whose number is 867-5309


42. you get depressed thinking about Anthony Michael Hall's career


43. you're starting a write-in campaign to MTV to bring back Remote Control


44. you drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to


45. you consider Jo vs. Blair the major philosophical conflict of the 20th century


46. you have a duck phone and ride around your house on a little train


47. you want to be one of the Solid Gold Dancers


48. you still watch things on Beta


49. you want to change your name to Rio and dance on the sand


50. you know that "Weird Science" was a movie before a TV show


51. your favorite proverb is "some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on"


52. you always waited for the Sweet Pickles Bus to visit your house


53. your favorite party game is Hungry Hungry Hippos


54. you saw the New Kids on the Block when they were Tiffany's opening act


55. you liked Tom Hanks better when he was a crossdresser


56. you know which Hollywood Square Jim J Bullock was in


57. you practice getting in and out of your car through the windows


58. you have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts


59. you're still wondering who really was the boss


60. you know what the "P" in "Alex P. Keaton" stands for


61. you keep asking your teachers if instead of the quiz you can take the physical challenge


62. you organize weekend tournaments of TV tag


63. you still drink New Coke 64. when you watch "Terminator 2" you wonder where Vincent is


65. you know ALF's real name


66. you never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eye shadow and feathered bangs


67. you can name all of the Thundercats


68. you got a hankerin' for a hunk of cheese


69. everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent


70. your musical inspiration is Sonny Mann


71. sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out


72. you're planning a dream vacation to Mepos


73. you use your Speak and Spell to phone home


74. you know the original members of Menudo


75. sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love


76. when you're stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo Boost and are surprised when it doesn't talk back


77. you remember when Vanessa sang Kareoke to "Locomotion"


78. you know that Mr. Steele functions best in an advisory capacity.


79. people are constantly gagging you with spoons


80. your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is "Walk Like an Egyptian"


81. the only thing you know about the Nazis is that they threw Indy to the snakes


82. you still use your hair crimper before going out on a hot date


83. you hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital


84. you know which five people Serpentor's DNA came from


85. you have "We Are the World" on 45


86. you're still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik


87. you can feel St. Elmo's fire burnin' in you


88. you watch NYPD Blue thinking, "Well, they're no Crockett and Tubbs, that's for sure"