The True Meaning of Men's Ads

40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.................. .................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking...........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back
Educated..............................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... ...................Banging your sister
Friendship first...................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking...........................Arrogant
Very good looking....................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable.......................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle........................Insecure mama's boy
Mature....................................Older than your father
Open-minded....Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive..................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive...........................Gay
Spiritual....................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable..........................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful......................Says "Excuse me" when he farts