The Top 15 Personal Ads Placed by Animals


15> Rhino: Horny? I mean *REALLY* horny? Me, too!14> Elephant: Seeking BBF pachyderm who wants to embrace some tail. No fatties, please.13> Fly: Single black female Musca Domestica has compound eye out for that special male who'll share laughs, intimacy, turds.12> Horse: Hot filly ISO stud horse hung like same.11> Cat: Single declawed male tabby seeks similar female for LTR. I'm not just looking for some pussy.10> Parakeet: ISO loyal mate. Burned once when significant other turned out to be self in mirror.9> Pig: You root for me and I'll pork you! (Pigs only, please.)8> Lion: Single tawny lion seeks zebra into extreme S&M for very-short-term relationship.7> Platypus: Seeking mate. Funny-looking applicants need not apply.6> Praying Mantis: Looking for a mate who's willing to lose his head over me.5> Bear: Single brown professional bear seeks female bear for companionship. Must share passion to keep fires out of the forest -- and *in* the bedroom. No smokers.4> Mouse: Looking for a stable, stay-at-nest kinda guy. I don't give a rat's ass about looks.3> Squirrel: Wild and crazy guy seeks soul mate for outdoor frolicking, al fresco dining and terrorizing blue-haired park interlopers.2> Sloth: Looking for someone willing to take things slowly.1> Dog: Who's a pretty girl? Who's a pretty girl?!? Is it you? *Is* it? Leave your reply on the oak outside 1432 Crestwood. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]

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