The Top 14 Signs *You* Are the Weakest Link

14> The capitol of Wisconsin is not "Cheddar."


13> After hearing your first question, you ask to buy a vowel.


12> Your submissive urination every time that British woman berates you.


11> Your brother Ray keeps beating you up. (Oops! That's a sign you're the weakest *Kink*.)


10> You actually *watch* "The Weakest Link."


9> Your name is LaToya.


8> After forgetting the other contestants' names, you make it unanimous and vote yourself off.


7> You owe $53 in late fines for "AOL for Dummies."


6> You're hairier than Robin Williams and Ed Asner combined. (Oops! That's a sign you're the *missing* link.)


5> First time Anne Robinson has used the phrase "Dumber than a bag of hammers" on a non-celebrity edition.


4> You keep trying to take Whoopie Goldberg to block.


3> "Well, Ms. Robinson, down in Texas we pronounce it 'nucular.'"


2> Even though he just returned from a 3-week sex tour of New York City with your husband, Ted Kennedy won't return your calls.


1> You volunteered to be abused and humiliated on national TV for half an hour, hoping to win the same amount of money Regis will give you for correctly identifying any of The Three Stooges.


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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]