13. Her station's new slogan: "More Talk, Less Clothes!"
12. Her cure for people's fear of public speaking no longer requires any imagination.
11. Photo on her driver's license taken by Bob Guccione.
10. Pompous elitist attitude a direct result of the camera making her look 10 lbs. heavier.
9. Her standard on-air greeting: "This is Dr. Laura, and I'm naked."
8. Now rails on the importance of keeping all nine commandments.
7. "Hello, this is Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I am my children's hypocritical, adulterous, boney-assed mom."
6. Her nickname in the studio? "Dr. Bareassinger."
5. That twirling tassel she uses for hypnosis.
4. She ends your session with, "You know, Hef has a couch just like this."
3. Insists on being called "Dr. November 1978"
2. Keeps asking, "Does this notepad make my ass look big?"
1. Screams "How 'bout them Yankees?!" every time a caller mentions nude photos.
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
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