The Top 14 Least Successful Fad Diets

14> The Fatkins Diet


13> The Michael Jackson Diet: lamb and veal on a bed of whitefish


12> The Guiltily and Secretly Indulging Every Between-Meals Craving and Believing It's Okay Because You Eat Small, Unsatisfying Meals and Besides It's Impossible to Gain Weight Once You've Told Everybody You Know You're on a Diet Diet


11> The Bucket Diet: Chew all you want. Swallow nothing.


10> The Cicada Diet: Gorge yourself, have sex, then sleep for 17 years.


9> Southwest Airlines Frequent Flyer Diet: After having to pay for two seats a couple of times, you'll slim your fat ass down.


8> The "Fear Factor" Diet: easy to watch, difficult to swallow


7> The I Only Eat on Days That End in "Y" Diet


6> South Beached Whale Diet: Eat until you're a blubbering idiot.


5> SlumFast: Eat only what your daily allotment of food stamps will buy.


4> Ruben Studdard's Sing the Pounds Off Plan


3> HBO Diet: What we want to feed you, when we want to feed you. And you'll be endlessly grateful for it, too.


2> The Un-Brando Diet: Share meals with Marlon Brando; eat everything he doesn't.


1> The Anna Nicole Diet: Nothing but well-aged pork.


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[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]