12> Every room in the house has only three walls.
11> Every time your neighbor drops by, you hear applause.
10> You get paid for product placement.
9> A bunch of celebrities visit you during sweeps week.
8> Every time you get your date to the couch, Don Knotts knocks on your door.
7> You haven't had sex for weeks because of that damn laughter.
6> Three months in New York City and all you've seen are young attractive white people.
5> Every line you utter is followed by laughter, but you're not George W. Bush.
4> There's always a parking spot in front of any place you decide to go.
3> People actually laugh at your jokes.
2> Lots of humorous talk about sex but you never actually have any, so you're either in a sitcom or you're a TopFive contributor.
1> You're a fat, balding, blue-collar worker in the Midwest, but your wife is totally hot and your three best friends are, respectively, black, Latino and gay.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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