Quotes

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?
If you don't die from it -- it is healthy.
If everything is going well, you don't know what the hell is Going on.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
There are three kinds of people -- those who can count and those who can't.
It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.
My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.
There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
If at first you don't succeed -- give up! No use being a damn fool.
Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.
No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.
You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles.