The Hunchbacks Apprentice

Quasimodo the hunchback was getting somewhat long in the tooth, and his lack of vigour was starting to show. The enthusiasm wasn't there, no cheerful smile or impish oafishness characterised his stagger, and the hint of gleefulness from his glory days had long passed with the tide of the years.

The cardinal of Notre Damn, increasingly aware of the lacklustre in the sounds peeling from the bell tower, one day decided to ascend the steps to speak with the hunchback.

"Quasi, mate, you've done a Stirling job for Paris and its people over the years. You're ridgy-didge in my books, but ya know, some of the other priests have noticed that the ol *joi de vivre* just doesn't seem to be there for you anymore. Have you ever thought of training up a young apprentice to take over the bell ringing gig?

Quasi looks up through his mangy locks to meet the cardinals eyes, first in anger, but then in resignation. He stares off into the distance, far across the reaches of the city skyline and mumbles quietly "You know, I've never really considered it. This place has been my home and my family for so long, I've never wanted anything else. But maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to find something more, something different.... Give me a few days to mull it over."

After a long period of soul-searching and self-reflection, Quasi finally agrees to the cardinals idea and heads down out of his tower and once again into the bustling markets of *les enfants rouge* where he comes across a cheerful young man, shining shoes for pennies.

Quasi approaches the young man, raising his hood ever so slightly to reveal the prominence of his enormous brow, and with a twinkle in his eye, he says "Hey kid, want a real job?". The young man, instantly awestruck by the presence of the legend jumps to his feet and says "it's, it's you... it's really you!"

"Shhhh!!" says Quasi, "what I'm offering you is something only that only the most dedicated, the most fearless, and the most selfless of souls would dare accept."

"Are you interested?"
"Of course!"
"Then follow me"

A short while later, the two men stand atop the south tower in the full brunt of a cold and windy Parisian winters' day. The young man shivers in the cold, the older man looks intently into his eyes.

"This is where the magic happens kid" he says, spreading his deformed arm expansively across the vista before their eyes. "The only real challenge to the job is actually getting ol Emmanuel to sing. You see, unlike the other bells, this grand bell lost its clapper years ago and the cardinal has been pretty skimp on the upkeep of these towers. Over the last few years, I've mastered my own technique. So pay attention boy, and watch how it's done."

The hunchback throws off his heavy cloak, revealing his aged and gnarled musculature, and with the wind whipping at his grey beard he roots each of his enormous arms to the lip of the bell, drawing it back with all his might and flinging it forward and up into the air. He releases and with the enormous bell waving slowly, silently, menacingly, back and forth, he turns back to the young man and growls "Strength, courage and bravery. If you hesitate you will get hurt".

He waits and watches the bell, and at the apogee, he sets his stance, raises his shoulders to his neck, grits his teeth, and leans in as the mass of metal rushes at his head.

A deep and resonant peel rings out as the crown of his forehead connects with the strike point, stopping the bell almost dead in its trajectory, save for a few inches of controlled sliding underfoot from the hunchback.

"Your turn kid"

Quasi draws the young man close and says "I'll get it swinging, just concentrate on what I said. Courage, Strength, Bravey" He's sets the bell into a gentle spin and let's the young man set himself for the challenge.

The young man leaps into face the bell, but at the last instant, he is overcome with terror and attempts to avert his face by flinching back, only to have the lip crash hard into his mandible, fracturing his jaw instantly and dislodging several teeth in the process. The bell lets out a muffled peel. The young man collapses to the floor, clutching his face.

"No, no, no!!" yells Quasi "You lost your nerve! You can never flinch. If you have to back out, then for god's sake duck! Don't flinch back!"

The young man slowly rises to his feet, clearly severely injured, but determined. Quasi raises one eyebrow and says "Again?" The boy nods.

Once more, the old man sets the bell in motion. Once more, the young man sets himself. Once more he flinches. This time raising his nose to meet the lip of the giant bell.

Crunch!

Once more, blood erupts from his face, and once more the young man crumples to the floor to the whimper of a soft peel of response from the bell.

Quasi looks at the young man and grumbles to himself "I should have never agreed to this. Young kids these days... They don't listen and they've got no bloody resilience"

"Look kid, just forget it. Go home, go back to shining shoes for pennies. I will find someone else who actually has real courage, real strength and real bravery."

Incensed, as Quasi had hoped, the young man staggers to his feet once more, and with a mangled primal scream into the harsh winter's wind, he grabs the bell, and fuelled with adrenaline and rage, casts it with near Herculean strength high up into the sky.

But rather than taking time to set himself, this time her reacts instantly and instinctually. He haunches his shoulders and aims his crown directly at the lip on the very first return of the bell. He makes perfect contact!

The bell peels deeply, and somewhat unsurprisingly, the change in momentum of the impact in against an unset stance sends the young man flying backwards through the air, straight out of the bell tower and down onto the cobbled streets below where he lands with a solid thud.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!!" mutters Quasi repeatedly as he hobbles down the steps to the tower as quickly as possible and out onto the street where a crowd have gathered.

A passer by is at the young mans side, cradling his lifeless head in his hands he looks up to the crowd and says "Does anyone know this young mans name?!"

Quasi looks down and says "Shit, you know I never did get his name, but his face rings a bell."