Tarzan loved playing around in the trees with the monkeys (First joke i ever learned)

Tarzan loved played around in the trees with the monkeys, he enjoyed it so much he would do it everyday! They would play around, and swing from liana to liana, from tree to tree! They would play catch and hide and seek and swing wildely around the lianas.
But one day Tarzan missed a liana, and he fell all the way down in a big thorny hedge! He was carried to the doctor, and as he woke up from narcosis the next day, the doctor told him:
"When you fell down that big thorny hedge, you lost your arm, your one eye, your leg, and your penis"
Tarzan was sad, but the doctor told him not to worry!
"Dont worry! i've surgically replaced your old bodyparts with brand new ones. Instead of your arm i've given you a monkeys arm. Instead of your eye i've given you the eye from a hawk. Instead of your leg i've given you the leg from a leopard. And instead of your penis i've given you the trunk of an elephant."
Tarzan was very pleased with his new bodyparts, and decided to test them right away. He went swining the lianas and playing all day, and the next day he went to the doctor to tell him about his new bodyparts. The doctor asked him:
"So, how do you enjoy your new bodyparts so far?"
And he answered
"I really much enjoy them thanks! The monkeys arm is GREAT when swinging the lianas, now i never have to worry about falling again!. The hawkeye is GREAT when i have to see far, now nothing will ever get lost from me again!. The leopard leg is GREAT when i have to run fast, now nothing will escape me again!. BUT THE GODDAMN ELEPHANT TRUNK KEEPS PICKING UP GRASS AND SHOVING IT INTO MY ASSHOLE!