- You can live without sex but not without glasses.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You are proud of your lawn mower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age ... and
isn't breaking any laws.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- You make an appointment to see the dentist.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- Neighbors borrow your tools.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
- You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"
- You send money to PBS.
- The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your
pants.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You know what the word "equity" means.
- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to
watch television.
- You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's
lawn.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- You got cable for the weather channel.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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