Rejected Children's Books

After last weekend's conference of the American Librarians Association, the Children's Books committee has prepared this list of books NOT on their recommended list:


40 Whacks: Counting With Lizzie
A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides
Alice in WonderBraLand
Babar Meets the Taxidermist and Becomes a Piano
Barney's Bleeding and Nobody Can Help
Bob the Germ's Wondrous Journey Into and Back Out of Your Digestive System
Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
Clifford the Big Red Dog Accidently Eats his Masters and is Put to Sleep
Controlling The Playground: Respect through Fear
Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
Dad's New Wife Timothy
Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
David Duke's World of Imagination
Dick, Jane, and Spot Wander into The 'Hood'
Ed Beckley's Start a Real Estate Empire with the Change from your Mom's Purse
Furious George Delivers the Mail
Girls Are From Venus, Boys Are From Cootieland
How to Become The Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
Joe Camel and The Magic Cancer Stick
Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales but Can't Remember the Endings
Legends of Scab Football
Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without their Clothes On
Maybe Dick
Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures
Pop! Goes The Hamster....And Other Great Microwave Games
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge
Safe Sex And The Zip-Lock bag
Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina
Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets
The Big Little Book of Necrophilia
The Boy Who Ate Spinach...And Lived To Tell About It
The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
The Complete Set Of "Mother Got Goosed" Nursery Rhymes
The Crack House at Pooh Corner
The Dummy's Guide to Crying
The Dyslexic's Big Anagram Book
The Frog Formerly Known as Prince
The Hardy Boys, the Bobsey Twins, and The Vice Squad
The J. Edgar Hoover Dress-Up Book
The Legend of Three-Card Monte
The Little Engine That Could, If Only That Damned Gout Would Go Away
The Little Engine that Could Becomes intoxicated and Kills Civilians
The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
The Tickling Babysitter
The Unabomber Pop-Up Manifesto and Coloring Book
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
Those Great Childhood Fragrances...Apple Pie, Cotton Candy And Bicycle Seats
Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer
Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things From Your Nose
When Mommy Leaves Daddy, And What You Did to Cause It
Where in the New York Area is Jimmy Hoffa?
Where the Wildings Are
Where's Waldo's Weewee?


**EXTRA**


The committee has also found these Dr. Seuss books, written after he "lost it", and put them on the NOT recommended list:


1. The Cat in the Blender


2. Are You My Proctologist?


3. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day


4. Your Colon Can Moo---Can You?


5. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch


6. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!


7. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbet


8. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket


9. Aunts in My Pants


10. Horton Fakes an Orgasm