Phillip the pus-sucker (NSFW)

It seems that there is this guy named Phillip the pus-sucker. He was a specialist. What he used to do was go to people who had really bad cases of boils, cysts, and all kinds of horrible skin infections, and suck the pus and other juices out of their boils, for money. One day he gets a call from a lady who says she has a really big boil up her ass that's really bothering her. She can't take a shit without terrible pains. It's worse than hemorrhoids. So he goes to this lady and she turns out to be a big, fat old hag with a huge ass, covered with pim­ples and sores. Right away, the lady sticks her big ass out at Phillip and says, 'Hurry up, I'm in terrible pain.' Phillip looks in and finds the biggest boil he's ever seen, way up there in her ass. So he starts working at it and pretty soon he's sucking away, when all of a sudden the lady lets go with a tremendous fart—a wet one—right into Phillip's face, practically blinding him. Well, Phillip pulls his face out of her ass, stands up and yells at her, 'Lady, please don't make my job disgusting!'