Jim and John were out of one dollar bills, and it was very late.
"Oh no", John say's - "the wife is gonna kill me. When I'm out too late, I park a block away, take me shoes off in the drive way, use my oiled key in the lock, take off my clothes in the living room, tip-toe upstairs, hold my breath and slide into bed without making a sound, but my wife still manages to wake up and doesn't stop screaming and nagging until morning."
"Well", says Jim, "you're doing it wrong. When I've been out late drinking, I screech the tires turning into the driveway, toot the horn to let her know I'm home, walk in thru the garage, stomp up the stairs, turn on every light in the house, blast the TV, walk in and slap my wife on the ass and say, 'Hey beautiful. let's make love' "
"And she not mad?" asks John
"Naw, she pretends she's asleep just to spite me"
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