Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everyone felt shitty
Even the mouse
With mom at the whore house
And dad smoking grass
I had just settled down
For a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my piece to see what was the matter
Then up in the air I saw a big dick
I knew in a flash it must be St. Nick
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell
I knew right away that the fat fucker fell
He filled the stockings with doobies and beer
And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer
He went up the chimney and blew a big fart
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart
He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight
"Piss on you all and have a hell of a night!"
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