It wouldn't have been as funny if it hadn't actually happened... [NSFW]

I worked in a store with very religious owners. This meant that the employees were careful with their speech, never swore, etc.


One day, my co-worker decides to tell me a dirty joke that she heard at the bar the night before. Here is the joke *as she would have heard it at the bar*:


----------------------------------


A man is walking down the beach when he comes across a young woman in a wheelchair crying. "What's wrong, miss?" he asks.

She sniffs and says, "It's just that today is my 16th birthday and I've never been kissed. It's because I'm in this damned chair!"

"Well, I can help you out," he says.

"Would you?" she asks.

"Gladly!" He leans down and gives her a gentle passionate kiss. She is pleased. They chat for a bit and go their separate ways.

A couple years later the man is on the same beach and hears a woman crying. He looks around and sees the same girl in the same chair sitting in the same spot.

"Hello again. What's wrong miss?" he asks.

"Oh, it's just that... well... today is my 18th birthday and I've never been fucked. It's because of this damned chair!"

"I'd be happy to help you out," he says.

"Really? That'd be wonderful," she smiles.

He gently picks her up out of the chair, walks her down to the the water and throws her in as far as he can. "NOW YOU'RE FUCKED!" he shouts.


----------------------------------------


So, yeah. That is the joke my co-worker wants to tell me while we're sorting through office supplies. But of course, she needs to change it up a bit so she won't get in trouble if the owner happens by. So she tells it slightly modified, like this:

A man is walking down the beach, (etc. A kiss, etc...)

A couple years later the man is on the same beach and hears a woman crying. He looks around and sees the same girl in the same chair sitting in the same spot.

"Hello again. What's wrong miss?" he asks.

"Oh, it's just that... well... today is my 18th birthday and I've never had sex. It's because of this stupid chair!"

"I'd be happy to help you out," he says.

"Really? That'd be wonderful," she smiles.

He gently picks her up out of the chair, walks her down to the the water and throws her in as far as he can. "NOW YOU'RE HAVING SEX!" he shouts.

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.