I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will stop trying to find the last remaining piece of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will keep the humans off my water bowl!
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.