Doctor Speak


Well, the flu has finally struck me! I have avoided it for several years, but now I'm very sick! Before I start studying for my blood test tomorrow, I thought I'd pull out this list of medical terms. It really impresses those doctors when you know all the latest medical terminology!


Artery - The Study of paintings


Bacteria - Back door to the cafeteria


Barium - What you do when CPR fails


Benign - What you be after you be eight


Bowel - A letter like A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y


Caesarean Section - A neighborhood near Rome


Cat Scan - Searching for Kitty


Cauterize - Made eye contact with the nurse


Colic - A Sheep Dog


Coma - A punctuation mark


Congenital - Friendly


D&C - Where Washington is located


Dilate - To live long


Enema - Not a friend


GI Series - Baseball `etween teams of soldiers


Grippe - A Suitcase


Hangnail - A coat hook


Impotent - Distinguished, well known


Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work


Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane


Morbid - A higher offer


Nitrate - Cheaper than the day rate


Node - Was aware of


Outpatient - A person who has fainted


Pelvis - Cousin to Elvis


Post-operative - A letter carrier


Protein - In favor of young people


Recovery Room - Where you have your upholstery done


Rectum - Darn near killed him


Rheumatic Fever - Amorouc feeling


Secretion - Hiding anything


Seizure - A Roman emperor


Tablet - A small table


Terminal Illness - Sick at the airport


Tibia - North African country


Tumor - An extra pair


Urine - Opposite of you're out


Varicose Veins - Veins which are very close together

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