Dead Baby Jokes

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown costume!

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off!

Q: What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A: A baby with a punctured lung!

Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
A: Fucked!

Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor!

Q: What do you call a dead baby and 6 week old bread?
A: A Big Mac!

Q: How do you make a man pregnant?
A: Stick a dead baby up his ass!

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them!

Q: What crawls on the floor and can't fit in an elevator?
A: A baby with a javelin through it's head!

Q: What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt!

Q: What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
A: You can't gargle gravel!

Q: What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A: A baby in a trash compactor!

Q: What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree?
A: One is legal to hit with an axe!

Q: What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A: A baby with a black eye!

Q: How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
A: With a blender!

Q: How do you get them out again?
A: With tortilla chips!

Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
A: Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes!

Q: What's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A: A baby shot through a snowblower!

Q: What's red, pink, yellow, and on the bottom of the pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties!

Q: What's green, black, yellow, and on the bottom of the pool!
A: That same baby 3 weeks later!

Q: What's the difference between a Lambourgini and a pile of dead babies?
A: I don't have a Lambourgini in my garage!