Collection of "You Know You're a Redneck When..." Number 3

Got some more Redneck lines . . .

You know you're a Redneck when:

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.

You have a Ku Klux Klan uniform somewhere in your trailer.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your amount of children is more than the amount of Oompa Loompas in Willy Wonka's factory.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of DDT on the kitchen table.

You've smashed a computer once, claiming it was a "scary robot from the future".

You've used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You've totaled every car you've ever owned.

You've ever been arrested for loitering.

There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

You've mistaken your wife for a bear.

You've attended a shotgun wedding.